Au Pair Contract & Host Family Agreement: A Fair Checklist

Why a written au pair contract protects both sides

Most au pair conflicts do not start with a villain. They start with two people who each assumed the other understood the deal: how many hours count as work, whether weekends are free, who pays for the class, what happens if it just is not working out.

That is exactly what a good au pair contract, formally called a host family agreement, is for. It turns unspoken expectations into a shared, checkable list before anyone gets on a plane. When it is written down, nobody has to litigate their memory of a kitchen conversation six months later.

This guide walks through what a fair agreement covers for both the au pair and the host family, using the rules of the U.S. Department of State's J-1 au pair program as the concrete reference point. If you are matching outside the United States, the structure is the same but the minimum figures are set by your own country's law, so treat the dollar amounts below as the U.S. benchmark rather than a universal one.

> This is general information, not legal or immigration advice. The binding rules for U.S. placements are set by the U.S. Department of State under 22 CFR § 62.31, and your designated sponsor agency is your first point of contact for anything specific to your match.

What is a host family agreement, and is it legally required?

A host family agreement is the written contract between an au pair and a host family that spells out the terms of the placement — duties, hours, pay, meals, housing, time off, and education — in a single document.

In the regulated U.S. program it is not a nice-to-have. Under Department of State rules, the designated sponsor (the agency that places the au pair on a J-1 visa) must ensure a written agreement is signed for every match. According to the regulations, that agreement has to clearly describe the sponsor and any third-party fees, the expected childcare duties and hours, compensation, room and board, any deductions, paid time off for vacation and sick leave, the educational allowance, and any required training. It must also state clearly whether the au pair is in the standard program or the EduCare variant, because the numbers differ.

Practical point: the agreement is not something you write in a vacuum and email over. The sponsor reviews it, and increasingly is expected to check that the proposed weekly schedule actually complies with the hour limits before the match is finalized.

How many hours can an au pair work, and what time off is guaranteed?

This is the single most common source of friction, so pin it down first.

For a standard au pair, federal rules cap childcare at no more than 10 hours per day and no more than 45 hours per week. For the EduCare program — designed to leave more time for study — the cap is 10 hours per day and 30 hours per week.

Those are ceilings on childcare, not a target to hit every day. "Hours" means time the au pair is responsible for the children, including active supervision. A fair schedule in the agreement lists typical daily start and end times so both sides can see the week at a glance rather than arguing about it in real time.

Days off, weekends, and vacation

The rules also guarantee rest, and these should be written into the contract explicitly:

• 1.5 consecutive days off every week.
• One complete weekend off each month (Friday evening through Monday morning).
• Two weeks of paid vacation over the program year.

A recurring dispute is the "quick favor" — watching the kids for an hour on an official day off. Put the principle in the agreement: a day off is a day off, and any change is agreed in advance, not assumed. That one line prevents a slow drift that ends in resentment.

How much is the au pair stipend, and what counts as room and board?

The stipend is the weekly cash payment the au pair receives on top of housing and meals. In the U.S. program it is a legal minimum, calculated from the Fair Labor Standards Act using the federal minimum wage and a room-and-board credit, not a figure the family invents.

For a standard au pair the minimum is at least $195.75 per week; for EduCare it is $146.81 (75% of the standard rate). It must be paid weekly — not bundled into a monthly lump — and it is the same regardless of how many hours below the cap the au pair actually works. Many families pay above the minimum, and you can agree to that in the contract, but you cannot agree to less.

Room and board are separate from the stipend and are mandatory. The host family must provide:

• A suitable private bedroom for the au pair.
• Three meals a day.

Because the stipend is tied to federal wage rules and is under active review (see below), confirm the current figure with your sponsor before signing — it is the kind of number that can change.

What education must the agreement cover, and who pays?

The "au pair year" is officially a cultural-exchange and education program, not just childcare, and the agreement has to reflect that.

A standard au pair must complete at least six semester hours (or the equivalent) of academic credit at a U.S. post-secondary institution during the program year. An EduCare au pair must complete at least twelve. The trade-off is symmetrical: EduCare works fewer hours and studies more.

The host family is required to help pay for it. The agreement should state the family's contribution toward the coursework — up to $500 for a standard au pair and up to $1,000 for EduCare. Also worth writing down: whether the family helps with transport to classes and how study time fits around the childcare schedule, since a class that clashes with the daily routine is a predictable flashpoint.

Which duties and house rules belong in the contract?

Duties should be limited to care of the children — the program is explicit that an au pair's responsibilities relate to childcare, not general housekeeping for the whole family. "Childcare-related" tidying (the kids' laundry, their meals, their play areas) is normal; scrubbing the parents' bathroom is not.

Use a checklist so nothing is left to interpretation:

• [ ] Typical weekly schedule with daily start and end times
• [ ] Total weekly hours (and confirmation of the 45/30-hour cap)
• [ ] Specific childcare duties and any tasks explicitly excluded
• [ ] Weekly stipend amount and payment day
• [ ] Private bedroom and meals
• [ ] Days off, monthly weekend, and paid vacation
• [ ] Sick-leave arrangements
• [ ] Education allowance and study time
• [ ] House rules: guests, curfew, internet, alcohol, smoking
• [ ] Car-use policy, if the au pair will drive the children
• [ ] Termination and rematch terms

Special rules for babies and toddlers

There are hard federal limits that must be honored regardless of what a family wants. An au pair cannot be placed with a child under three months old unless a parent or another responsible adult is also home. And an au pair cannot care for a child under two at all unless they have at least 200 hours of documented childcare experience with under-twos. Separately, before placement every au pair completes required training — at least 8 hours of child-safety instruction (at least 4 of them infant-related) and at least 24 hours of child-development instruction. If your household has an infant, confirm the au pair's infant qualification is documented before matching.

How do you end an au pair placement fairly?

Sometimes the match is simply wrong — different rhythms, homesickness, a mismatch in expectations. The program has a built-in, no-fault way to handle this called a rematch (or transition), and knowing it exists takes the fear out of raising a problem early.

In a rematch, either the au pair or the host family can decide to end the current placement while the sponsor and local coordinator mediate and try to pair each side with a new match. During the transition, the host family is generally expected to continue providing room and board for up to about two weeks so the au pair has a stable base while a new family is found. Because the au pair is already in the country and settled in, rematches often move much faster than a first placement.

To keep it fair for both sides:

• Raise problems early with your local coordinator; most issues are fixable before they become a rematch.
• Put the rematch terms in the agreement — the transition period, room and board during it, and who to contact — so nobody is improvising under stress.
• Keep it civil. A rematch is a normal program mechanism, not a failure or a firing, and references matter to everyone involved.

Are the au pair rules changing in 2025–2026?

Yes — this is a moving area, so verify current figures rather than trusting an old contract template.

The Department of State published a proposed rule on October 30, 2023 that would substantially raise au pair compensation; reporting on the proposal cited increases of roughly 78% to 270% depending on the scenario. As of mid-2026 that overhaul had not been finalized as written. In parallel, Congress introduced H.R. 4199, the "Modernize the Au Pair Program Act of 2025" (received June 26, 2025), which directs the Secretary of State to propose a uniform national approach to the stipend and education allowance that keeps the program affordable while accounting for cost of living.

Separately, on the visa side, a $250 "Visa Integrity Fee" was introduced in 2025 for many nonimmigrant visa categories, with possible reimbursement for those who comply with their visa terms, alongside expanded social-media vetting for exchange-visitor applicants. None of this changes the structure of a fair agreement — but it can change the numbers, so check the current stipend and fees with your sponsor before you sign.

Conclusion

A fair au pair year is not built on goodwill alone — it is built on a host family agreement that writes down the hours, the weekly stipend, the private room and meals, the time off, the education allowance, and how a rematch works, all within the limits set by the U.S. Department of State. The single most useful step you can take today is to sit down together, walk the checklist above line by line, and confirm the current stipend and fee figures with your sponsor agency before anyone signs.